Old Habits & an Old Dog

They say start as you intend to go on, and I had every intention of starting this blog post in January on time. Alas, the overwhelm was real with all of the events I’m about to talk about. I found myself sliding into old territory of not getting out of bed/showering/napping even more than usual around the editing of events. I turn 50 this year and that officially makes me an “old dog” in gay years. Perhaps I have patterns and old habits that I fall too easily into that I just cannot unlearn at this stage of my life. I want to change, I really do. Whilst I have disabilities that mean I need to find a kinder way of living with myself, I also live in a capitalist society that demands a lot of individuals. It is therefore harder to change the indoctrination I have been subjected to. Anywho, onto January!

The month started off very slowly with just one event in the first half on 6th January. My support worker and I travelled to a relatively close location, that of steam engine A2 964 at Edwardes Lake in Reservoir.

Steam engine A2 964. Image by Teague Leigh.

We started out traversing the Edgars Creek Wetlands, then did a lap of the lake itself. The whole excursion didn’t take very long, but it was a rewarding trip with plenty of various birds sighted, plus there was a weir, and of course the steam engine.

Edgars Creek Wetlands. Image by Teague Leigh

I bought another filter from Nisi for my wide angle lens that I purchased with the help of my ko-fi supporters, and I put the lens and the camera in to be cleaned at the amazing Vintech Camera Service Centre who cleaned my babies in a matter of a couple of days. They discovered that my secondhand camera has a scratch on the sensor, but at the f stop that I use, it will not be an issue.

I also created a new logo and have a new business name! I have moved away from TLeighs World Vision to World Vision Photography. This website is still a work in progress, making sure it is up to muster as far as accessibility is concerned, which is my top priority with the website. I've been told the colour scale I used wasn't accessible, so I'm reconfiguring that to pass the test and now it is more monochrome.

The second half of the month has been much busier with the advent of the three weeklong Midsumma Festival. I am always keen to take Midsumma on as a client as it equates to a third of my annual salary.

The first event is always Carnival on 19th January. Much like Sydney Mardi Gras’ Fair Day, merchants and community groups come together to celebrate the rainbow community. Over 100,000 people usually attend the openair event. Local and National performers grace the multiple stages and give a taste of what the three weeks of Midsumma entails.

Rainbow Racquets Squash members at Carnival. Image by Teague Leigh.

This year I was assigned the Sports Precinct and the Garden Bar area. I love capturing the diversity of the community and the Sports Precinct is a fun day of activations, rainbow sports teams, and the famous Queerlympics.

Queerlympics at Carnival. Image by Teague Leigh.

At 36 degrees Celsius, and a shift starting at 1030am going until 9pm, it was a long day, and I did get a bit sun-touched, despite slathering myself in suncream.

No rest for the wicked though, my next Midsumma shift was photographing the Queer Playwriting Award Showcase at Gasworks Arts Park on the 20th January. The showcase highlighted four finalists as they read an excerpt from their new plays. Not to be biased, but my favourite was from Danish Sheikh, “Much to do with law, but more to do with love”. This play focuses on repealing the sodomy laws of India and dealing with a system that doesn’t necessarily make it easy to love. Danish surprised me with his humour and grandeur of ego (for comedic effect). I laughed out loud multiple times whilst taking images. EDIT: Danish won the Award, so will get to produce it in conjunction with Gasworks and Midsumma.

Danish Sheikh. Image by Teague Leigh.

On Friday 24th I took a break from Midsumma to photograph another client, one I have photographed before – Tony Yap. This time, Tony curated Trance Zones – Ritual Performance, collaborating again with multiple dancers in an experimental and transcendental style. I find these performances to be gripping, yet difficult to shoot due to the lighting and the chaos of the movement, especially the free-for-all at the end where all dancers take to the stage in a trance of movement and music. I love shooting this chaos as I love the challenge of trying to capture the movement!!

Tony Yap and dancers. Image by Teague Leigh.

Lastly for the month, on the 25th January, I want to mention going to see a reading of a work-in-progress play “The Placeholder”, by my friend, Ben MacEllen at the Abbotsford Convent. I want to make note of this play because it left everyone in the room spellbound and excitement beyond compare. For information about the play I’ve included the link above. What I want to say is this: once it reaches production and asks for financial support, do yourself a favour and back this play. This play needs to see the masses and the masses need to see this play as it is life-altering. Not just for trans people, but even those people who don’t think they are transphobic or homophobic, but really are, plus all the allies all over the world (yes, I see this touring!). I was transfixed and now consider myself a cultist of this play!

Following on from the previous month, Midsumma work continued with Pride March on the 2nd Feb. For those uninitiated, Pride March is Naarm’s largest march for the rainbow community that goes all the way along Acland Street in St Kilda.

Pride March. Image by Teague Leigh

It was a fiery hot day of around 36 degrees Celsius, but thankfully I was stationed near the Pride Centre so I could duck out of the sun occasionally. The same day I also photographed another event, so it was a big day!

Shortly following the March, I got to photograph a lesbian play “Day For It” on the 4th. It had some lovely moments and was superbly acted throughout by the two actresses, Anna Lindstedt (who also co-wrote the play with Sally Q Davies), and Roz Hammond playing off each other.

Day For It. Image by Teague Leigh.

On the 7th I was honoured to photograph a dear friend, Mama Alto, in her De-Flowered performance. Mama Alto is a sensational and award-winning jazz and blues singer, and this performance included all songs about sex! It was quite the treat.

Mama Alto. Image by Teague Leigh.

Rolling right along on the 8th I photographed “The Queer Kingdom” staged reading. This play, written by Tom Ballard, is all about Emperor Dale Parker Anderson who declared a small island “The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands”. The reading was raucous, and I highly suggest you go see it when it is staged in the future.

The Queer Kingdom. Image by Teague Leigh.

The party didn’t stop there for the Midsumma shenanigans. The very next day was VIC Pride, which is a street festival in Collingwood’s “gaybourhood” complete with live music, roving accts, window activations, and DJ’s, not to mention all the local vendors getting into the LGBTQIASB+ spirit (spirits quite literally flowing in the streets). VIC Pride is sponsored by the Victorian Government and is the last event of the Midsumma Festival (although VIC Pride was only meant to run for four years, so we have to tell the government to continue to sponsor it).

Vic Pride. Image by Teague Leigh.

After a lot of exhaustion, I finally got to go on my own adventures with my support worker on the 19th of Feb. I have tried a couple of times now to find the old pier pylons in Altona but have been unsuccessful. This was another attempt at finding them. So, we started out near Seaholme and walked (and drove) to Altona pier but still could not find the photo op. Still, there were pelicans hanging out in a rowing boat and plenty of wind surfers, so the excursion was not a loss.

Altona Pier. Image by Teague Leigh.

To round out the end of the month, on the 28th, I was hired to photograph the Summer Residency Exhibition opening at Yarra Sculpture Gallery. You may or may not recall that I have actually done this residency and exhibition in the past, so it was a nice full circle moment for me. The YSG residency gives people living with disability a residence to work on their art for a number of weeks, so it is vital that the program continues to run for future artists.

Artwork by Tamar Dolev. Image by Teague Leigh.

Next month is looking a lot quieter, but that is another blog post entirely. As always, thank you for supporting this independent artist and keep telling your family and friends about me and my blog post so that they too can support independent art, especially art that strives to help the planet through a positive path to change.

I will endeavour to get the next blog out the first Sunday of the month, but am also not making any promises. Maybe my “thing” can be that my blog is one of the most reliably unreliable blogs on the web!

Question of the month: What tips and tricks have worked on you, to teach you new life skills?

Be kind to yourselves, each other, and the planet.

T.Leigh

A Quiet Month Is A Good Month - Or Is It?

The month started with a bang. After an exhilarating and successful exhibition opening, I high-tailed it to Portarlington the very next day – November 1st. It was exactly the post event celebration that I needed to unwind and refresh my energy. I stayed at Bellarine Bayside Holiday Park, in a very cute little cabin right on the beach (what little beach there is, it is highly eroded and on a steep incline), with a walking path right out front to watch walkers go by whilst journaling and sipping rosé.

The view from my cabin. Image by Teague Leigh by phone.

Before the trip, my counsellor suggested I write letters to my ma in an effort to heal. I am a terrible diarist; however, I found this experience highly cathartic, and the automatic writing flowed, along with my tears, quite unashamedly. If you’ve lost a loved one, perhaps you have done something similar. I cannot recommend the experience enough. This trip was all about healing. Healing from a long stint of work, and healing from the passing of my ma in July, so I did not bring my camera, I only took photos with my camera.

Whilst going on daily walks I soaked up the sun and took in the views. On one walk I watched a woman walk her horse through the ocean waters, it was such a beautiful sight. Whilst sitting outside my little cabin I had so many people say hello, such a friendly area, so uncommon in the city. All this was completely refreshing, and I thanked my past self for having the where-with-all to book this trip in advance.

Next up, on the 8th of November, Michael and I drove to Shepparton again for their annual Out in the Open Carnival Day where Michael sold their books to eager locals. Everyone is so friendly, from the teens who are neurodivergent, to the adult queers who aren’t particularly readers, but love the content anyway, or just want a chat. We love going to this event and watching the day’s entertainment. This was an overnight trip with Michael giving a panel the previous night at the local library to a handful of eager teens who ate every word. It was an encouraging experience.

Michael holding up two anthologies at the Shepparton Library. Image by Teague Leigh by phone.

Lastly in a very lean month was another trip away with Out Doors Inc. This was another overnight trip. I met a few different people on this trip, which is always difficult for me, I feel so awkward at small talk and never know how to initiate a conversation. This is the main reason I go away on these trips – to help me conquer my chronic social anxiety. The fact that we go away and spend time in nature is an added benefit. This trip we went to the dubiously named Mount Cannibal and did the spectacular loop walk. Afterwards we made lunch at Mortimer Picnic Ground and completed the tricky nature track. Tricky because a couple of the bridges were out from large fallen trees. The next day we stopped to see Puffing Billy at Emerald Park and then we walked around the lake.

Mount Cannibal views. Image by Teague Leigh.

As I said, this was a less busy month than what I have experienced in the past. I’m not mad about it. In fact, it was exactly what was called for in my hectic life. I need to practice slowing down. My daily rests are a great start, but they are the tip of the iceberg of sorting out a comfortable living. I grew up with the “head down, bum up” mentality of the working class British, and as a British, my father taught me not to complain about it. I have been working on this. Whilst I do not complain out loud to others, I certainly have stern words with myself these days and ask myself whether or not working so hard is a value add to my life. I’m trying to practice the art of not giving a fck, but decades of poor life skills have made it a hard lesson to learn. Once again, I leave you with this – be kind to yourself, on both the easy days and the hard days. Take nothing for granted.

Question of the month: Who are you in the dark, when no one is watching?

Be kind to yourselves, each other, and the planet.

T.Leigh

A Crisis of Ability

October started out of the gates with a frenzy (if you pardon the racing terminology). Michael drove us to Canberra for their large family get together (about 30 of us, all immediate family) to celebrate their parents 50th wedding anniversary. Whilst I’ve been married, I consider that an anomaly as I do not believe in marriage. However, to see two people working hard to stay together for so long and genuinely love each other after such a large amount of time does impress me. I realised something a few months ago about my identity – I am likely greyromantic, which means I am not inherently romantic all of the time. I have yet to determine whether that is part of my autism, or a personality trait. Heaven help Michael!

October 5th, we ventured to Floriade, Canberra’s free open flower festival. Here in Naarm you would have to pay for such a privilege, so it’s always a busy festival for Canberra which of course leads to sensorial overload. Cocktails were called for whilst we waited for the rest of the family to explore the grounds, go on rides, and generally enjoy the atmosphere. I am getting better at wearing my Loops in public to help with the overload, but I forgot them on this day.

Flowers at Floriade. Image by Teague Leigh.

The following day, on the 6th, we walked around Black Mountain where the wildflowers were abundant and Michael’s mother, who is a keen flower spotter, saw several orchids.

Wild orchid at Black Mountain. Image by Teague Leigh.

Then we visited the abandoned Telstra Tower. Having spent a sporadic 15yrs of my life in Canberra, I remember the tower in its heyday when it was a tourist destination, now it is rundown and a tourist attraction of the notorious kind. It’s fenced off but not really patrolled, so you can walk up to it and take photos. I was disappointed to see it in its state of decay – I had talked it up to the family – though it does make for moody images. I have a mind to edit my images into black and white, to give them a moodier tone.

Telstra Tower. Image by Teague Leigh.

Back in Naarm I worked for the Victorian Pride Centre again, this time for their TiPS program, only to be told they were going in a different direction due to a “miscommunication” in what they were after with the images. This was devastating and a crisis of faith in myself ensued.

TiPS participants. Image by Teague Leigh.

I’m still not sure of my expertise, despite working at the Centre before for different clients and having my work loved. This was the first time a client had not liked my wares, and I was shook for a number of weeks as a consequence. Thanks to my mentor, award-winning Luke David (who has also photographed for the Centre), I was able to overcome my dark thoughts eventually. It has left me changing the way I accept clients forthwith, however, making sure the client knows what they want from me in the brief prior to accepting a contract, as well as making sure they know my style of work, so I am not negotiating terms and explaining photography concepts during. I am also going to stand up for myself more fervently from now on.

On the 13th I took on another indoor client, whilst still having a crisis of conscience. “Baliti” was performed by the exceptional dancer, Ricardo Magno, who I had photographed the previous month for the hero image of the performance as part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival. Fortunately, this client liked my work.

Ricardo Magno in “Baliti”. Image by Teague Leigh

Then on the 27th I tagged along with Michael to Queenscliff for a writer’s festival they were appearing on a panel at. Whilst they were on the panel, I walked around the gorgeous town of Queenscliff and took shots of architecture and nature – my happy place. I know that nature is my balm, but it always surprises me just how much I get out of it, how much nature provides me. It charges my batteries exponentially and a lot of the suffering I am going through seems to evaporate.

Queenscliff pier. Image by Teague Leigh.

On the second last day of the month, I went with my support worker (my only trip with him this month) to Leanganook Camping area to walk around the breathtaking Mount Alexander Regional Park. It is a bush flower paradise. Walking around the scrub, we also detoured to Dog Rocks, Faraday, which were incredibly large boulders towering on top of each other on top of a mountain. I love me some rocks and the views were also outstanding. Again, walking around in the scrub for 2.5hrs, was a city detox and washed me of any lingering doubts about my abilities and cleansed me of the sights and sounds associated with city living.

Dog Rocks. Image by Teague Leigh.

For sunset we were going to walk up to Lang’s Lookout but weren’t really sure of how to get there once we were in the area and thus stumbled upon an old, abandoned quarry as the sun was setting across the pit.

Abandoned quarry. Image by Teague Leigh.

So, October was a tough one, but here I am, a survivor.

Remember to tell your friends to donate over on my Ko-Fi page so they too can follow along for behind the scenes and dedicated content.

October question: What have you survived? Was it depression? A poisoned working environment? An abusive partner? Bad news?

Be kind to yourselves, each other, and the planet.

T.Leigh

Together we get sht done.

After the hectic night that was my debut solo exhibition launch on the 7th of September at SOL Gallery, with support from Pride Foundation Australia, I have taken a couple of days off, hence why this post is a few days past the original schedule (and if you read my blog posts, you know how much I love my schedule!).

SOL has advised that over 500 people attended the gallery over the nine days, and together with seeing so many new faces there, plus the amount of people who have been discussing my series “The Reclamation of Terra” on socials, I consider this to be a huge success and am super grateful. My series needs people. It needs your passion as much as it needs mine, so I am thankful you see the work that I have put in, the heart that is in every palette stroke, and the desire to unify community and heal the planet.

A lot of people have raved about the Acknowledgement of Country that my dear friend and MC Bayley Turner made on the 7th, so I have added it here. You have also remarked that my speech was full of passion and action, and I know it has prodded a few of your inspiration buttons (consensually, of course). You will find that here. You can also see/hear the speech on my YouTube channel. For audio descriptions of all the pieces, including the Look Book, please head to my Soundcloud.

So, what is next for me and for this series? Those of you who have bought a painting or inquired about pieces know that certain pieces will be touring and that there will be a gala exhibition opening in January 2024. Whilst the details are under wraps whilst the Midsumma embargo remains, I can tell you that the night will champion rainbow performers, highlighting the great strength of the LGBTQIA+SB community.

However, to bring my vision to actuation, I need community and ally support. If you or your business (or you know a business who) is passionate about a sustainable planet and about community unity, then please support this project via my Australian Cultural Fund fundraising page. This absolutely includes allies. Whilst the might of the rainbow movement is fierce, we cannot do this without the support of our allies. No amount is too small, and certainly, no amount is too large!

I have incredible performers from many nationalities representing a cross-section of our diverse community lined up and I want to pay them what they are worth. I would like Auslan interpreters, all written material interpreted into Braille, and official Welcome to Country, all so that this gala can be as accessible and open to everyone as possible.

Due to the heritage listed status of the Victorian Artists Society, frames and hanging materials need to be purchased. Because I believe all art should be attainable and reasonably priced, my pieces are valued accordingly, however, I will also be professionally printing each landscape photograph as a limited run of eleven at A2 size on 310gsm rag to offer an even more affordable option to own a piece of this important series. The fabulous Thirds Fine Art Printing in Brunswick have generously agreed to offer sponsorship, however as they are a small independent local business, there is still a sum to pay for their amazing service and time.

I have an amazing event photographer and videographer lined up to capture the spectacle and they both must be paid their worth too. The event photographer recently worked for the Melbourne International Film Festival, and the videographer, who will be interviewing attendees on the night (with your permission of course), has recently worked for the Indian Film Festival.

Because I am nearing my fifties, I am of a mindset that you cannot have a gala without food and beverages. I will be approaching dal Catering in Geelong to supply the catering as they train students with disabilities in the hospitality industry so that they are employable after completing school, an amazing ethos. Because of how sensational they are, I will not be asking for a discount on supplies. Whilst I am all about the hustle and have been talking behind the scenes to Victorian beverage companies, I am still to lock in a sponsorship, so must raise funds for a proper “knees-up”.

Let me make this perfectly clear: I am not paying myself for this project, unless I obtain a large grant, and only once I have paid everyone what they are worth. I am extremely passionate about this project and its aims that I am even putting my own savings into this gala. My belief is that the bigger I can make this gala, the more people will talk about it, therefore the more people will come and see and read what it is I am trying to achieve. Please help me reach my target because we all need this. We all need a sustainable planet. We all need community.

My question(s) for this blog is this: what price are you willing to pay to save the world? At what cost are you being silent? Will you be a leader and join me on this journey?

Image credit: Bhavin Mettanant, @rindexfinger

T.Leigh

Teague Leigh at his debut solo exhibition, Sol Gallery in Fitzroy, 7th of September, 2023. Image credit by Bhavin Mettanant, @rindexfinger

And So It Goes: When you ignore the warning signs.

I wrote in my last post that with the lead up to my debut solo exhibition @ Sol Gallery (see my events page for more details), my sleep, had become an existential exercise in futility.

My body had been sending me alarms for months, which I had spoken with my counsellor about, but had done naught else to remedy the situation. At the end of the blog, I asked “Am I following the right path for long-term sustainability?” The short answer, dear readers, is “No!”

I was brought up by a military man, the first (and only) of his family who went to University. He thought this was the pinnacle - that you worked hard and achieved greatness - of life. He drove this home to me most weeks, whether it be in my academic endeavours, or my many sporting achievements. When I quit competitive sport in my teens, I was lying when I said, “it was too competitive, I was no longer in love with it”. The reality was, I didn’t want to run (soccer, softball, and cricket - and basketball, would you believe?!) because my chest was growing quite large and moving “inappropriately”. This was the deep-seated body dysmorphia I am still recovering from, even 13 years after chest surgery. When I quit, my father saw it as a failure. That I wasn’t trying enough, that the whole point to life was to be competitive. “Head down, bum up.” How often did he say this phrase to me? How ingrained it is within me still. Then the on-set of Capitalist 90’s hit, and, well, we all know how that is turning out.

On the other side there is my ma. A strong woman with many flaws. After she divorced my abusive father her social anxieties and self-loathing (that I argue were caused by my father) increased little by little and literally fed her to the point where she can barely move, and now falls constantly when she does. She lives in a rough part of the Northern suburbs an hour out of Adelaide and rarely leaves her house due to the sickening insults the neighbourhood teens heap on her. This is probably also why she refuses to use her mobility aids. I see her and do not want to be her. I drive myself to work out often with my support team, eat clean as often as possible, and constantly monitor for signs I’m “doing it wrong”.

So, working myself into the ground is an endemic coding deep within my DNA. I have asked my counsellor how one, with such an upbringing, stops working/giving at 110%? Ten years ago, when my body and mind literally broke directly caused due to the stresses of overworking and a very large insurance company who did little to help, I vowed I would slow down. For a long time, I did.

Little by little, however, I forget I have these acquired disabilities that need to be nurtured and my body must be listened to when it speaks up. My body is (and probably always has been) quite vocal when it needs extra assistance. I have tried, in the past ten years, to find the work/life balance I plead to all my friends to find. I think currently, I am failing. I am not alone.

The more I immerse myself within the art community, the more stories I hear of artists burning out - before they are 30 - or in their first five years of being in the industry. This is because the hustle is real. You hustle to have a voice. Then if you have a voice, you hustle to keep it; to grow it; constantly hustling. We hustle today, because tomorrow we are not guaranteed an income (and creating art is actually more expensive than you would think!).

If there was a minimum wage for artists, as the Greens Party here in Australia have weakly floated a few times, then yes, we would still be poor - but we could allow ourselves more easily to occasionally take breaks. Those of us living with disability would more often than not, stop of our own accord, before our bodies forced us to stop!

Needless to say, I have been laid up in bed with exhaustion and flu for ten days. My schedule has been rearranged, then rearranged some more as I try and keep hustling. Yesterday I masked up and took my artworks to the gallery for installation. Today I am off to my GP for a necessary health check as my body falls apart some more. I tell myself that I must be better for Thursday, so I force myself to rest, but still struggle to sleep.

Human beings are complicated. Human beings with disability, more so, particularly when those disabilities are largely invisible and can be oft times ignored. Whilst I am sure I have long shed my internalised ableism; I still must contend with and unlearn my conditioned work hard coding. I need to remind myself that stopping for an hour to play a computer game (I only play Civilisation VI, for those who want to know, maybe occasionally Wii monopoly or Wii sports – yes, I still have and use a Wii), is not a failure. Stopping is a success. Stopping IS a success. Stopping is a SUCCESS. Stopping is a success because it will increase both my longevity and my happiness. Just STOP!

At the end of every blog, I ask a question. This time I am not going to. This time I am simply going to submit the blog and go back to bed until I must go to my GP appointment. Rest well folx, and for the love of all things holy – S.T.O.P.

T.Leigh

Official flyer to Teague Leigh’s debut solo exhibition “The Reclamation of Terra”, proudly supported by Pride Foundation Australia, at Sol Gallery, Thursday 7th September @ 6pm. On the left is a canvas painted in hues of textured acrylic paint. In the middle is a landscape photograph of a yellow sand dune with one lonely tree to the left side and deep blue sky above. This central image is repeated in collage underneath in three chopped up lines. Above the central image are the colours of the progressive pride flag in wavy lines leading to the top left corner. On the right of the flyer it is black with the details of the exhibition.