A Quiet Month Is A Good Month - Or Is It?

The month started with a bang. After an exhilarating and successful exhibition opening, I high-tailed it to Portarlington the very next day – November 1st. It was exactly the post event celebration that I needed to unwind and refresh my energy. I stayed at Bellarine Bayside Holiday Park, in a very cute little cabin right on the beach (what little beach there is, it is highly eroded and on a steep incline), with a walking path right out front to watch walkers go by whilst journaling and sipping rosé.

The view from my cabin. Image by Teague Leigh by phone.

Before the trip, my counsellor suggested I write letters to my ma in an effort to heal. I am a terrible diarist; however, I found this experience highly cathartic, and the automatic writing flowed, along with my tears, quite unashamedly. If you’ve lost a loved one, perhaps you have done something similar. I cannot recommend the experience enough. This trip was all about healing. Healing from a long stint of work, and healing from the passing of my ma in July, so I did not bring my camera, I only took photos with my camera.

Whilst going on daily walks I soaked up the sun and took in the views. On one walk I watched a woman walk her horse through the ocean waters, it was such a beautiful sight. Whilst sitting outside my little cabin I had so many people say hello, such a friendly area, so uncommon in the city. All this was completely refreshing, and I thanked my past self for having the where-with-all to book this trip in advance.

Next up, on the 8th of November, Michael and I drove to Shepparton again for their annual Out in the Open Carnival Day where Michael sold their books to eager locals. Everyone is so friendly, from the teens who are neurodivergent, to the adult queers who aren’t particularly readers, but love the content anyway, or just want a chat. We love going to this event and watching the day’s entertainment. This was an overnight trip with Michael giving a panel the previous night at the local library to a handful of eager teens who ate every word. It was an encouraging experience.

Michael holding up two anthologies at the Shepparton Library. Image by Teague Leigh by phone.

Lastly in a very lean month was another trip away with Out Doors Inc. This was another overnight trip. I met a few different people on this trip, which is always difficult for me, I feel so awkward at small talk and never know how to initiate a conversation. This is the main reason I go away on these trips – to help me conquer my chronic social anxiety. The fact that we go away and spend time in nature is an added benefit. This trip we went to the dubiously named Mount Cannibal and did the spectacular loop walk. Afterwards we made lunch at Mortimer Picnic Ground and completed the tricky nature track. Tricky because a couple of the bridges were out from large fallen trees. The next day we stopped to see Puffing Billy at Emerald Park and then we walked around the lake.

Mount Cannibal views. Image by Teague Leigh.

As I said, this was a less busy month than what I have experienced in the past. I’m not mad about it. In fact, it was exactly what was called for in my hectic life. I need to practice slowing down. My daily rests are a great start, but they are the tip of the iceberg of sorting out a comfortable living. I grew up with the “head down, bum up” mentality of the working class British, and as a British, my father taught me not to complain about it. I have been working on this. Whilst I do not complain out loud to others, I certainly have stern words with myself these days and ask myself whether or not working so hard is a value add to my life. I’m trying to practice the art of not giving a fck, but decades of poor life skills have made it a hard lesson to learn. Once again, I leave you with this – be kind to yourself, on both the easy days and the hard days. Take nothing for granted.

Question of the month: Who are you in the dark, when no one is watching?

Be kind to yourselves, each other, and the planet.

T.Leigh

A Crisis of Ability

October started out of the gates with a frenzy (if you pardon the racing terminology). Michael drove us to Canberra for their large family get together (about 30 of us, all immediate family) to celebrate their parents 50th wedding anniversary. Whilst I’ve been married, I consider that an anomaly as I do not believe in marriage. However, to see two people working hard to stay together for so long and genuinely love each other after such a large amount of time does impress me. I realised something a few months ago about my identity – I am likely greyromantic, which means I am not inherently romantic all of the time. I have yet to determine whether that is part of my autism, or a personality trait. Heaven help Michael!

October 5th, we ventured to Floriade, Canberra’s free open flower festival. Here in Naarm you would have to pay for such a privilege, so it’s always a busy festival for Canberra which of course leads to sensorial overload. Cocktails were called for whilst we waited for the rest of the family to explore the grounds, go on rides, and generally enjoy the atmosphere. I am getting better at wearing my Loops in public to help with the overload, but I forgot them on this day.

Flowers at Floriade. Image by Teague Leigh.

The following day, on the 6th, we walked around Black Mountain where the wildflowers were abundant and Michael’s mother, who is a keen flower spotter, saw several orchids.

Wild orchid at Black Mountain. Image by Teague Leigh.

Then we visited the abandoned Telstra Tower. Having spent a sporadic 15yrs of my life in Canberra, I remember the tower in its heyday when it was a tourist destination, now it is rundown and a tourist attraction of the notorious kind. It’s fenced off but not really patrolled, so you can walk up to it and take photos. I was disappointed to see it in its state of decay – I had talked it up to the family – though it does make for moody images. I have a mind to edit my images into black and white, to give them a moodier tone.

Telstra Tower. Image by Teague Leigh.

Back in Naarm I worked for the Victorian Pride Centre again, this time for their TiPS program, only to be told they were going in a different direction due to a “miscommunication” in what they were after with the images. This was devastating and a crisis of faith in myself ensued.

TiPS participants. Image by Teague Leigh.

I’m still not sure of my expertise, despite working at the Centre before for different clients and having my work loved. This was the first time a client had not liked my wares, and I was shook for a number of weeks as a consequence. Thanks to my mentor, award-winning Luke David (who has also photographed for the Centre), I was able to overcome my dark thoughts eventually. It has left me changing the way I accept clients forthwith, however, making sure the client knows what they want from me in the brief prior to accepting a contract, as well as making sure they know my style of work, so I am not negotiating terms and explaining photography concepts during. I am also going to stand up for myself more fervently from now on.

On the 13th I took on another indoor client, whilst still having a crisis of conscience. “Baliti” was performed by the exceptional dancer, Ricardo Magno, who I had photographed the previous month for the hero image of the performance as part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival. Fortunately, this client liked my work.

Ricardo Magno in “Baliti”. Image by Teague Leigh

Then on the 27th I tagged along with Michael to Queenscliff for a writer’s festival they were appearing on a panel at. Whilst they were on the panel, I walked around the gorgeous town of Queenscliff and took shots of architecture and nature – my happy place. I know that nature is my balm, but it always surprises me just how much I get out of it, how much nature provides me. It charges my batteries exponentially and a lot of the suffering I am going through seems to evaporate.

Queenscliff pier. Image by Teague Leigh.

On the second last day of the month, I went with my support worker (my only trip with him this month) to Leanganook Camping area to walk around the breathtaking Mount Alexander Regional Park. It is a bush flower paradise. Walking around the scrub, we also detoured to Dog Rocks, Faraday, which were incredibly large boulders towering on top of each other on top of a mountain. I love me some rocks and the views were also outstanding. Again, walking around in the scrub for 2.5hrs, was a city detox and washed me of any lingering doubts about my abilities and cleansed me of the sights and sounds associated with city living.

Dog Rocks. Image by Teague Leigh.

For sunset we were going to walk up to Lang’s Lookout but weren’t really sure of how to get there once we were in the area and thus stumbled upon an old, abandoned quarry as the sun was setting across the pit.

Abandoned quarry. Image by Teague Leigh.

So, October was a tough one, but here I am, a survivor.

Remember to tell your friends to donate over on my Ko-Fi page so they too can follow along for behind the scenes and dedicated content.

October question: What have you survived? Was it depression? A poisoned working environment? An abusive partner? Bad news?

Be kind to yourselves, each other, and the planet.

T.Leigh

Relatively subdued, but not by choice

June was relatively subdued, but not by choice. My support worker had poor health and then so did his car, meaning it will need to be sold to a wreckers or the like, so travelling was waylaid.

However, I did get to spend a week on Gadigal Country for the Vivid Festival.

Firstly was the sensational Dark Spectrum. After attending the best concert of my life by electronic dance music duo Underworld (most known with their hit Born Slippy in the film "Trainspotting"), this was a glorious continuation of lights and beats.

One of the rooms of Dark Spectrum in the underground tunnels of Wynyard. Image by Teague Leigh

Then walked around and photographed an amazing sunset from near Mrs Macquarie's Chair and played with long exposures of up to 10 minutes. The point gives a great view of both the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House and during Vivid Festival, once Mother Nature’s lights go off, the Festival lights turn on.

Vivid Festival light trails as seen from Mrs Macquarie's Chair, Gadigal. Image by Teague Leigh.

Then I walked to The Rocks and photographed the Vivid installations.

Vivid Festival light installation. Image by Teague Leigh.

All up I did a staggering 21kms of walking. Needless to say, after hardcore EDM dancing for 3 hours (a transcendental experience) the night before, I broke. I crashed into bed and couldn't move for 12 hours, not even for the bathroom! I had to miss my intended concert (Electric Fields at Carriageworks) the following night to let my body gather spoons. Even ten years after my diagnosis of acquired disabilities, I am still learning how many spoons each action will remove from my wares. This calculation is not linear either. Variables, such as the type of crowd (rowdy hooligans, verses appreciative guests, etc), the weather, what I have done prior, and so much more, all factor into the loss of spoons. I’m still forgetting that I cannot do all of the things. Now, however, I am being kind to myself when I make these errors in judgments and try to rest as soon as I’ve realised where my levels of pain and fatigue are at.

Eventually, on the 3rd of June, I was able to leave my hotel room again to ferry over to Cremorne Point to photograph Robertsons Point Lighthouse (which I think is underrated as far as engineering structures go), before photographing a lack-lustre sunset, but still loving the city lights across the water.

Gadigal Country. Image by Teague Leigh.

I was able to do a "mild" walk of 11kms whilst photographing more Vivid installations such as the below at The Goods Line, after I had walked around Barangaroo, Darling Harbour, and Tumbalong Park.

Fire Kitchen at The Goods Line. Image by Teague Leigh

Back in Naarm I didn't get out on an adventure until the 12th June, where we went to Bellbird Picnic Area and walked the Flying Fox Trail. Since it was winter, we weren't expecting to see many, however, the sight of so many astounded us and can only boggle at how many we would see during the September birthing season.

Flying Foxes, Naarm. Image by Teague Leigh

It was a quick 2hr walk as I had to get back for Michael's new anthology launch for Avast! (pirate stories by trans and gender diverse authors). However, we did make it to the Fairfield Pipe Bridge and Wurundjeri Spur Lookout.

June wasn't boring, by any means. My big news that I hinted at last blog was me securing a job with Arts Access Victoria as their youth program, Maker Space, exhibition curator! I will be guiding the youths (18-25 yrs old - at my age I'm calling them youths) towards a group exhibition on the 31st October at Library at the Docks, which is monumental and a great privilege.

Plus my old mentor, award-winning photographer Luke David, keeps sending work my way. I managed to photograph Switchboard's launch with Yarra Trams on the 25th June, where they celebrated with Drag Storytime with Frock Hudson, it was glorious.

Frock Hudson onboard a Yarra Tram. Image by Teague Leigh.

 The lack of adventure meant I could edit these camera images, but even though I cleaned my wide angle lens every time I used it, it was still a chore post-edit! Seems I still need to figure out how to get the most out of the new lens. Professional photographers do not always get it right, so do not be so hard on yourself when you are just starting out. Welp, sometimes I even leave the lens caps on!

So many dust spots. (Mobile phone image by Teague Leigh).

There ended the adventures, due to the aforementioned troubles, but let me tell you, July is much busier, so keep coming back and tell all your friends to come check out what I’m about. I'm still saving for lenses and a filter system for my wide angle lens, so even $5 a month is going to help me achieve my goals of capturing Country and gift the healing power of nature.

Question for this blog: Have you calculated what it takes to deplete all your spoons?

Be kind to yourselves, each other, and the planet.

T.Leigh.