TLeighs World Vision 18/12/23 TLeighs World Vision 18/12/23

The Resistance is a Full-Time Job

Even though I am better now at scheduling in naps throughout the week, I am not used to resting, to allowing myself that luxury (even the word “luxury” implies rest is laziness). I am not as patient with myself as I would like, and I compare myself to “successful” disabled people within my immediate (and further afield) circles and ask myself “why aren’t I doing more?” All the while knowing that “success” is a predominantly capitalist construct pertaining to material wealth and not, more importantly, spiritual, and emotional wealth.

Hello my friends,

This month’s post is later than usual as I am still suffering from post viral fatigue syndrome after having a nasty virus for two weeks from the 19th of November. The brain fog and lethargy are real!

I keep forgetting (or fooling myself?), about my disabilities and that I can no longer do all of the things. Yet, I am currently still unable to get through the day without several rest periods, so the work leading up to my gala exhibition opening continues to snowball; photography editing piles up on my SD cards; and the daily detritus of life is building a nest and is looking like it’s going to permanently stick around.

My counsellor suggested that I am mourning my former self. I think there is something in that, even after 10 years. Perhaps I am grieving for the abilities I once had when pushing myself to achieve unhealthy benchmarks of success. Societies narrative is that you must keep working and getting better, so I guess I convince myself that I’m “not that disabled” & slip into ableist oversight.

Nor are the goals I set for myself healthy, or particularly achievable. This high benchmark is a ghost I set for myself when I was young and doing all the sport, before even, when I was running events, and long before I acquired disabilities. They were unachievable back then; they are a pipedream now and need to be retired for the sake of my health and longevity.

My counsellor suggested that others might look at me in the same way and ask themselves why they aren’t doing more things. This gave me pause. I have been indoctrinated with societies narrative for over 40yrs years. There's still so much to unpack and do-over without the burden of having to “be better, recover from illness/injury/disability, work more”.

So, now I am at a point where I need to intrinsically listen to my body and ignore the piles of stuff building up around me. I have scheduled and rescheduled my schedule multiple times to rest whilst still trying to do the “bare minimum” of work that I have set for myself, but now I must start delegating to the friends I have around me whose “can I help” questions are often brushed aside.

Having said all that, I have been busy! The resistance is a full-time job. The sculptural piece "Tidal", one part of my "The Reclamation of Terra" exhibition was showing at the Counihan Gallery in Merri-bek here in Naarm as part of their annual Summer Show.

More good news in the month of November - I received a small fund of $2,500 through Midsumma's partnership with Treasury Wine Estates. I looked up TWE's environmental impact before accepting this funding, as the wine industry is notoriously nefarious when it comes to its green practices, however, after reading up on TWE's sustainability practices, I liked what I saw. They also have an international LGBTQIA+ group encouraging diversity, as well as a group invested in supporting more women in the industry. So, I am happy to say that Treasury Wine Estates are supporting my gala exhibition opening in January.

For Trans Awareness Week I recorded a little something for Joy 94.9fm.

I attended several films and caught up with so many neglected friends during the Melbourne Queer Film Festival.

My Arts Access Victoria class, Artstop, have been working on a video projection "Prism" for months and it was projected on the walls of a Sydney Rd, Brunswick building all month, although, disappointingly, there were some technical glitches, so the word out on the Bulleke-bek street is they are going to reschedule it early 2024 (on a Tuesday night – watch this space for updates).

Then, on the 16th of November, Michael & I travelled north to the lands of the Ngarrindjeri Nation and the Ladji Ladji peoples of what colonisers call the Murray Mallee Region.

Michael was promoting their new anthology "Everything Under the Moon" (which you must buy for yourself and everyone in your life because it is a spectacularly designed and illustrated hardback with some of the World's best young adult authors within), and I tagged along to take some photos. It’s on backorder with Hares & Hyenas but ask your local book seller if they have it or can order it in for you!

On the 28th of November, Midsumma launched their jam-packed festival program. I watched the live stream at home, and colour me surprised when I saw my listing up on the big screen and the marvellous Midsumma CEO, Karen Bryant, talking about it alongside the remarkable Jessie Ngaio (who’s show I have been booked to photograph – can’t wait)!

With the launch, the embargo was lifted so I could officially talk about my Australian Cultural Fund project and try and appeal to some lovely (wealthy) philanthropists. With blessings to some lovely humans, I have raised $2,310 through the project, which means I am still at least $190 short to pay my stellar artists their minimum salary, but we're almost at 50% of the major target, so I'm really excited and massively thankful.

I know you have all donated significantly to this gala exhibition already - you're amazing and have blessed me so much, however, if you could share the link with your networks, I would be most thankful. The project ends on the 30th of December. The ACF takes no fees, and no matter what I raise, I get to keep the funds for my gala – the gala WILL BE GOING AHEAD. Plus, gifts over $2 are tax deductible! If you have not yet gifted me, please consider a $10 donation.

Despite being largely bed-ridden and having to give up tickets to many events so far this month, December is busy (hmmm, didn’t I just say I was going to listen to my body and rest more…)! Look out for my next blog post around this time next month, which will only be days away from the gala launch!!!

I hope life is being magical to you all and that you live with good mental, physical and spiritual health, whatever that looks and feels like to you.

The question for this blog post: How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (It’s not nearly an irrelevant question as it would first appear)

T.Leigh.